Learn the Critical Conversations To Have with Your Partner About an Open Relationship.

I’m Dr James Wittard, and this is your journey into an open relationship…

main topics

Read it Anytime, Anywhere.

What if in one afternoon you and your partner can learn the conversations you need to have in order to build a healthy open relationship, without the fears of jealousy or secrecy driving you apart?

This is what OPEN can do for you!

It’s a set of stories, tools, questions and conversations that you can use in order to build an amazing open relationship with your partner.

Introducing Conversations for People Considering an
“Open Relationship”

If you want to have a life-giving open relationship with your partner, follow these steps:


Read OPEN, then share it with your partner.


Sit down together and have the conversations that are vital to protecting your relationship with each other while exploring sexuality outside of it


Talk to others in an open relationship 

Don’t worry if you’re nervous.

My first time I was in panic mode. I needed this book!

I’m here to help all people who…

  • can’t find good material on the subject or open relationships
  • want to remain in a committed relationship with their primary partner 
  • are already in an open relationship and want to get better at it
  • don’t know which important conversations to have with their partner about being in an open relationship
  • love their partner and want to explore a broader sexual experience without cheating
  • want to avoid jealousy, betrayal, and deception in their primary relationship

About the Author:

Dr. James Whittard, PhD

I’m a PhD professor in the social sciences, and I’ve had open marriages collectively spanning 25 years. In this book, I’ve used decades of education and experience to outline a clear set of conversations that you and your partner should have when considering an open relationship.



Part #1

Start With Why

Most people who want to have an open relationship don’t know how to start the conversation with their partner, and they don’t really know how to answer the most critical question of why they want to do so.

In OPEN you’ll learn how to start the conversation with your partner for the very first time, and how to clarify the reasoning behind it in a way that’s non-threatenning for them.

Yet many people aren’t able to clarify their reasons for wanting to pursue an open relationship. I mean, why not just cheat, right?

Part #2

Evolutionary Psychology and Sex

90% of people consider cheating to be wrong, yet 50% of people cheat on their partners! That’s chronic hypocrisy, and shouldn’t there be more transparency and honesty in the world? Yet, most people don’t understand the drivers and motivations behind some of our deeper impulses.

In OPEN you’ll find an easy to read guide on why cheating AND monogamy both seem to be valued by the majority of people at the same time. It’s a paradox of evolutionary psychology that can be overcome only in an open relationship.

But still there’s a concern that open relationships are lacking love or trust.

Part #3

Love, Sex, Trust & Transparency

Many people would equate an open relationship with a lack of a good sex life, or a breakdown in trust, love, belonging, or transparency. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

In OPEN, you’ll interact with great stories clarifying the distinctions between love and sex, and encouraging the reinforcing loop of trust and transparency.

And yet some still might say that it’s too risky to navigate an open relationship.

Part #4

The Distinctions of An Open Relationship

Those who think that open relationships are too risky, simply don’t know the right kinds of conversations to have with their partner.

In OPEN, you’ll learn to distinguish between discomfort and pain, allergies and fetishes, rituals and rules, and boundaries and permissions. You’ll have all of the right topics to cover to give you your best chance at a fun and life-giving open relationship with your partner.

And others still struggle with not having the correct tools.

Part #5

The Open Toolkit

Most of those who think an open relationship is too complicated, simply haven’t seen the OPEN toolkit.

In OPEN, you’ll have examples of couples‘ Open Agreements that you can use to create one of your own. You’ll have a set of checklists that will help you clearly define boundaries for you and your partner. And you’ll have The Conversation Starter to both get the conversation going with your partner, and make sure you cover all of the important decisions you need to make together.

What Our Customers are Saying

When my wife and I were first learning how to navigate an open relationship, there was SO LITTLE information available, and most of what’s there isn’t all that practical.

If you and your partner didn’t care about each other, you’d simply cheat on each other. The fact that you’re even reading this means that you value your primary relationship enough to want it to be healthy and improved by an open relationship.

But open relationships are still taboo in most of the world. It’s a bit like being LGBTQ+ in the 1980’s. Open is still a part of the “+” I guess. You can’t talk about it at work, to your family, and even in the small circle you may have confessed to already, you’re likely to be viewed as creepy or unnatural.

“OPEN is an essential toolkit on your journey of sexual discovery and pleasure. Couples can only push the boundaries if those boundaries are built on solid and firm foundations, where both parties are fully engaged, totally open and 100% in agreement.”

Emma Sayle

Founder & CEO, Killing Kittens Ltd

“Open is a must-read book for any couple who may be curious about how an open relationship can work for them. This book packs a ton of helpful and practical advice and truly paves the way for couples to get started in the open lifestyle while maintaining a healthy relationship at each and every step (and misstep). If you’re considering opening up your relationship, I recommend that you read Open together with your partner as a fantastic introduction to the Lifestyle.”

Lexi Sylver

Media Director for SDC.com; Sex & Lifestyle Relationship Coach, Educator & Author

“Where was this book 20 years ago?? My wife and I are in our early 50’s, married for 31 years, and we just started to explore sex outside of our marriage for the first time. We both knew we wanted to spice things up, but we didn’t know where to start. Open gave us a starting place for figuring things out. And it was super interesting to read. Great stories!”



“This book is sooooo practical. It’s a good read, and easy, but what I really like about it is that there are so many cool tips and tricks that are helping my boyfriend and I figure out how we want our relationship to work. For example, I love the idea that I’m not defending my own boundaries, I’m defending his. That helps me a lot. We’re both in a pace now where we can explore our sexuality within an expanded frame, and it’s made our own sexual relationship a lot hotter too.”

H.T., New York

Media Director for SDC.com; Sex & Lifestyle Relationship Coach, Educator & Author

“OPEN saved my marriage! I was thinking about leaving my husband of 14 years because our sex life had dried up. We were like roommates, and what I really wanted was to feel desired again. I didn’t want to cheat, so I read OPEN and then started the conversation with my husband. At first he was hesitant, but after he also read this book, he agreed to explore. We’ve been open for about 3 months now, and still navigating some awkward conversations, but it’s an adventure we’re on together.”



We bought and read six other books on open marriages but none of them gave us an actual guide on how to go about it. This book gave a step by step guide on what we should be talking about BEFORE embarking on an open marriage. We are so grateful for what this book gave us. A definite must read!

Harry T.


I had been in an open marriage for a year when I stumbled upon this book. My relationship with my husband was going downhill and I was looking for ways to fix it. We were missing vital steps, mostly what Dr James calls pain and pleasure. Now we understand this distinction we have stopped hurting each other and now we have a much better open relationship.

Andrea J.

Los Angeles, USA

I can’t believe my partner and I were just winging it. How silly we were. This book has totally changed the way we communicate within our open relationship. The best thing we have implemented after reading this is our agreement. We now are clear on our expectations of each other.

G. J.

London, UK

Hands down best book on open relationships I have read. And I love Dr Whittard’s witty humour. Makes an easy read!

Sarah B.

London, UK


OPEN IS NOT a quick fix or a marriage counseling course.

This is a set of hard earned and proven tools for starting, discussing, and maintining a healthy open relationship.


  • Learn to have an open relationship with your current or future partner without the fears of betrayal, deception, or failing in your relationship.
  • Answer the why questions for you and your partner about your open relationship.
  • Learn how to approach the topic with your partner for the very first time.
  • Understand the evolutionary psychology of sex and why both monogamy and cheating became best practices.
  • Learn the definitions and differentiators of love, sex, and belonging.
  • Master the positive reinforcing loop of trust and transparency.
  • Differentiate between discomfort and pain in your relationship, and how to experience them appropriately.
  • Distinguish between allergies and fetishes, and learn to embrace your partner’s unique sexual identity.
  • Clarify the rituals and rules, boundaries, and permisisons, that will protect your primary relationship as you explore open sexuality.
  • Draft your open understanding with your partner, and go through the permissions checklist to find agreement on your hopes and fears for your open relationship.
  • Learn who to tell about your open relationship in your social circle, how to tell them, and when.
  • Learn how to find third parties to play with, the sites they use to connect, and how to manage social media and dating apps.

OPEN IS NOT for Everyone

  • It’s NOT for people looking for an excuse to cheat on their partner
  • It’s NOT for people who don’t love or are not committed to their partner
  • It’s NOT for people who are willing to betray, lie to, or manipulate their partner


It’s SPECIALLY designed for

People who want a life-giving open relationship with their partner

No matter which niche you are in. It works perfectly for:

  • Partners wanting to explore the concept of an open relationship.
  • People already in an open relationship who are struggling or want new tools.
  • Married couples, heterosexual, homosexual, or otherwise, who are in, or would like, an open relationship.
  • Unmarried couples of any sexual or gender orientation who are interested in an open relationship.
  • Family members of those in open relationships wanting to learn about what it means.
  • Singles wanting to start a new relationship with an open understanding.

“Hi, My name is Dr. James Whittard
… and I struggled with an open relationship needlessly for years”

  • I once had NO CLUE about how to navigate an open relationship, so I made my partner wait 13 years before we started exploring,
  • But I really did want to have an open relationship with my partner all that time and I just had no idea how to go about it (just like you?)
  • I know how important being in an open relationship is. It can end in catastrophe MUCH MORE EASILY than it can proceed with love and trust and freedom. So I had no choice. I had to learn it.
  • I clearly remember how hard it was at the beginning. And I don’t want you to experience the endless hours that Rachel and I spent trying to discover boundaries and sensitivities, allergies and fetishes. We’d sometimes stay up all night, arguing, confused, committed to each other but struggling to find shared meaning.

Stop Living in Fear,
Start Loving in Freedom.

“But it will ruin our relationship”

Actually no, once you have a clear and shared understanding of what you want and why, you and your partner can protect each other while exploring an open sexuality.

What I’m trying to tell you is this:

You don’t need to spend 25 years learning to have an open relationship like I did. You can use OPEN and start having that open relationship with your partner right now.


Start the conversation. Start taking action. Start the first chapter in your open relationship.


This book is a SHORTCUT that helps you start an open relationship without the fears of jealousy, betrayal, or deceit.

  • Even if you have never considered an open relationship before and you’re afraid of your partner cheating on you. (You are not alone, I was afraid Rachel would cheat on me too!)
  • Even if you have never been in an open relationship, or had multiple partners. (Been there… and the tools in OPEN saved me and my wife.)
  • Even if you’ve had an open relationship before and failed. (Been there too! Ugh… it was hard. But, please, don’t give up! Try to use OPEN.)

Now is the time.
Stop Living in Fear… and… Start Loving in Freedom

Frequently asked questions

(9 customer reviews)
(9 customer reviews)
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